The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed.

Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it.

Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening.

What's up, you cool, baby?

One, two, three, four.

It's the start of something beautiful.

A small acquaintance has blossomed.

It's rapping into a precious friendship.

I could have never seen what was coming for me.

Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach.

My life, it feels live.

My life, ah, ah, ah, it's better, it's better with you.

My life, ah, ah, ah, it's better, it's better with you.

This is true.

Ah, it's better, it's better with two.

My life, ah, ah, ah, it's better with you.

Hello, everybody.

Welcome to my brother, my brother, and me, an advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. What up, Trave Nation, it's me, your middle-list brother, Travis Big Dog, Wolfel, Vroom, The Heater Award-winning McElroy. Hey, welcome to Dickhead. I'm Griffin, and I'm about to pour this whole thing of hot coffee right on my right on my crotch and weiner. Here I go. Wait, what's Dickhead? So you guys know how the

jackass guys are done now? Yeah, that's what they say. They're doing their final movie because

they're all, it's too dangerous for them to like keep doing. I will say, man, I know they're older than me.

And my body is so brittle that sitting in a desk chair has given me back problems.

Well, they've got hardened bones from the preceding stunts and tricks.

...