The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed.

Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it.

Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool

they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby.

Hello, everybody, and welcome to my brother, my brother and me, an advice show for the

modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. I'm your middle-est brother, Travis McElroy.

Hey, I'm your sweet baby brother, and 30 under 30 media luminary back in a big way,

Griffin McElroy. Hey, guys, you know how last week we tried to be earnest and we really nailed it,

and we were earnest the whole time? Yeah, I said a lot of shit, and I meant all that shit.

I meant all of it. I was thinking about it, and this week, what if we keep that old train

around, and we focus on the twain funny, terrible life without your love. And this week we aim for

another goal, and we try to be relatable. Okay. Okay, let's be honest, we've gotten so big,

we're big shots, as they say, pounding around with the glitterotty, and I feel like maybe we

might have lost touch a little bit with, you know, your quote unquote, every person.

Yep, yep, yep, yep. So I think a big tenant of this, and it's a thing I've been

meaning to talk to you two boys about for quite some time now, is we have been awfully cavalier

about open and frank conversations about getting our buttholes sprayed by our toilets

in the form of bidet seating. And obviously it's important. Obviously it's important.

It's important, fast, my life, justice life, Travis's life, keeping it clean down there,

getting the spray is, I love it, and I need it. But I don't think the rest of America is ready

to go there with us. Okay, so, so, Griffin, you're saying like if we wanted to make it more relatable,

instead of saying like, I don't think I could live without my bidet, you would say something like,

...