The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed.

Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it.

Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool

they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby.

Hello everybody and welcome to my brother brother made an issue with the modern era of

medicine, McElroy! Hey Paul, I'm going to need a little bit more in the monitors.

I'm Travis McElroy. Your middle-est brother, sorry if yeah you get it.

Too much monitor. Too much monitor, Paul. I'm your sweet baby's brother and number one fan of

that good brown stuff you called Coca-Cola. Give me back!

Paul, you will not believe this, but until today, Griffith had never heard of Coca-Cola.

Oh my god! It burns so bad!

I'm jacked on coke. I said, Griffith, we're going to go to the wall of coke and

Griffith said, fuck, yes, that's what I need. Fuck, yes! And then I said, like, Coca-Cola,

he was like, what is Coca-Cola? So I didn't go. Yeah, you missed out, but I was busy, I don't know,

spending time with our wonderful fans. Don't applaud him. The alternative was spend time with his

family. So we all chose that bad. But it kind of like, you're my family. Jesus, this is out.

We get criticized sometimes for turning slowly, so slowly that we hope people won't notice

into a cult, and it's shit like that. Yeah, that's rough. I have individually started like four

different like cults for sure, capital C. So, Griffith and I walk into the... I didn't go, what the

fuck is that? Okay, I want to cook. I want to give you the food. Do you know the soda Coca-Cola?

I've heard of it, yes, it's like Mountain Dew's brother. Yes. Okay, imagine a world in which Coke

was extremely important. Okay. And I don't mean as a soda. I mean as a human achievement.

...