The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed.

Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it.

Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool

they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby.

Hello everybody, welcome to my brother brother, I'm in advice show from the

modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. I'm your middle-est brother,

Travis. I need you guys to keep in mind that I edit the podcast, and when you introduce these

just delicious, delectable pauses, it's hell, it is hell on earth. But it's fun for people at

home because they get anticipation tingles. They don't get anticipation, they don't get ASMR,

they've listened to 500 fucking episodes of this. I'm building off of what we have said already

about this, so you can't remove it from the show. This is Griffin, do your thing baby.

Everyone I want you to meet my youngest brother. Oh boy, it'll be really confusing because

that sentence is going to sound really normal once I do my sick stuff to it. Okay.

This is Griffin McElroy. Can I tell you something? So am I just about looking up?

Listen, what was that? We're recording this on the third, so this is

topical when I say, of course, of course, the Fourth of July in the United States

in pennies day. Now it is also National Barbecue Spare Ribs Day.

Yeah. Cool. It's also National Caesar Salad Day.

Well, that's how to say it sucks. It's a foil to this spare ribs people.

That was the one actually organized by Caesar salads because like for a day, they could just

fucking relax. Yeah. Because nobody's going to come eat one of them. Not that day. No one's eaten

the Caesar salad. And if you have been tempted in this year of our Lord,

...