The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed.

Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it.

Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool

they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby.

Hello everybody, welcome to my brother and brother and me and advice show for the modern era.

I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. I'm your middleest brother, Travis McElroy.

And I'm your new year's baby in sweet 30 under 31, Grifford, back, or I.

It's we're modern than ever. Oh yeah, baby. We're in those sci-fi years now.

It's the most modern we've ever been. People say we weren't gonna make it, and we did.

Who's a fuck man? Who said a naysayer? Point him out. Name them one by one. Name names.

Alan Alda. Alan Alda said that? Damn, I don't want to burn Alan Alda, but if he's talking a bunch

of shit about our ability to make it, then he doubted us, and I guess we showed him.

You know what? I buzzed me out, especially because I just talked to him like a week ago,

and he was like, I always said you guys would make it. That's the two timing. That's the thing.

Wow, you know, way to start 2018 off on a bad foot to find out that Alan Alda is a two-faced son of a gun.

I feel a little at sea though, gentlemen, because we are in a new year, and yet in a sense we aren't.

In a sense we are still in a sort of limbo, because we have not sort of thematically

found what this year is going to be about. So we've had a lot of people tweeting at us.

I'm not sure that they've necessarily helped us. If only anything, they've added more sea

by giving us a billion very good suggestions of what the year should be.

And just listen, I can't stress enough how much I appreciate the participation which everyone

has put forth, but rhyming teen with things is easy and could apply to any year.

...