The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed.

Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it.

Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool

they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby.

Hello everybody, welcome to my brother brother, I'm Ian and I'm a show for the modern era.

I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. I'm your middle-est brother, Travis McElroy.

And me, I'm your sweet baby brother, Griffin McElroy. Gather ye round children.

Oh god, that's really nice. I have ye a story to tell. Are you gonna talk about the true crime that

happened to you? I'm gonna tell you about the true crime that happened to me this past fortnight.

It was like a couple days ago. Okay, we gotta stop right now. Is this a horror story or

is it a true crime story? Because you're kind of doing both things. I tell you, Griffin, it is a

true crime story about the horror of humanity, the dark passenger that lives in all men's souls.

Okay, so I submitted for the approval of them in nice society. Travis lost some furniture.

The story of the missing patio furniture. Her tale of this tale,

through campfires, but it's telling has been a swear it happened to a friend of a friend of life.

I thought that this was internet creepypasta, like a slenderman. No, it's true. The past

heel furniture was stolen. I, Theresa and I, when we lived in our last apartment, how to set a

patio furniture, we moved to the new apartment. There was no room for it. So we chained it together

with our bikes in front of like in our covered parking space. They just made a little theft hunting pot.

Yeah, of the two of the two most desired to be stolen things, patio furniture and bicycles.

But we covered it in a tarp Griffin, which seemed to remove it from the inside. That's just,

that's gift wrap for Steelers. We shadowed it from the world and the world could not find it

...