The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed.

Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it.

Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool

they are for listening. What's up, you've cool baby.

I love everybody who welcome my brother, my brother, me an advice show for the modern era.

I'm your oldest brother Justin McElroy. I'm your middle-aged brother Travis McElroy.

I'm your sweet baby brother, Griffin McElroy.

Yes. Well, that's our show. Thanks for listening. Everybody just was supposed to start saying

stuff and then he didn't. Why do I always have to be the one to start saying stuff? I don't know,

ask the past you from the last 317 weeks. It has not been that consistent. I'm going to need

statistics. I think it's been at least 308 of 318 times that you have been the one to introduce

whatever our opening bit was. Travis and I and Griffin have been recording a remote podcast

for 300 and some thousand episodes. And usually we spread across the country like so much silt

across the riverbed. But today we're recording our remote podcast when Travis is literally 8 minutes

from my home. It is a level of what do you think this association like yeah we just do it. We just

do it. My brother, my brother, me colon, we just can't. Well, look at it the other way. It's actually

it's not about distaste for being in Justin's presence, but rather our respect for Griffin

because what I did not want is for Justin and I to be in the same room making intimate goofs

with each other and make you see each other's faces. Well, Griffin was like, what are you guys

giggling at? Fucking tickle fights, fucking butterfly kisses after bedtime prayers. And I'm over

here like trying to replicate butterflies like his is on my own cheek with like a swiffer or

something. He's practicing butterfly kisses on his arm for when he finally gets to do him in real life.

...