The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed.

Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it.

Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool

they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby.

Hello everybody, welcome to my brother, my brother made an advice show for the modern era.

I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. I'm your middle-est brother, Travis McElroy.

I'm your sweet baby brother, Griffin McElroy and guys. Griffin, I'm changing.

What? I feel a spirit of renewal in my heart of hearts that has got me excited to

today's the first day of the rest of my life. Is this like a holiday? Like,

Emmonies are scrooge, they did it all in one night. Yes, it's kind of like that. Yes, it's kind of

like that, except if instead of three ghosts spooking me good, spooking my bones, spooking you into good,

spooking, turning you good, just spooking me, just raw dogging me with their spooky spirits.

Instead of that happening to me in the night time, during the daytime, yesterday,

I became the world's number one basketball boy. What? What? I went to a college basketball game

in which college-age athletes play basketball again, they do basketball again, see each other.

Uh-huh. Even I did, you mean big kids? Yeah, like big, big kids and like, I didn't know I had

it in me to love this new thing or any new thing for that matter, but specifically this new thing,

I always thought basketball was the final frontier and there I was standing there who've been in

horror and you enjoyed it. Oh, I loved every second of it. I yelled, I yelled with every dunk,

with every, achieved, with every funk and every achieved rebound. How about every clunk? That's

what they miss. Well, I wasn't cheering for the clunks, no Travis, I, I was a test. I was,

every time they missed a shot, I would yell at a referee. I, I, listen, I didn't know what I was

...