The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed.

Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it.

Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool

they are for listening. What's up, you've cool baby.

Hello everybody and welcome to my brother, my brother, a media advice show for the modern era.

I am your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. I'm your middle-aged brother, Travis McElroy.

I'm your babyest baby brother, Griffin McElroy. Starts spreading the news.

Oh, that's good. That's good. I'm leaving today. I want to leave the club.

This is Travis down in the corner of your screen. You probably notice Justin sounds a little bit

different in his singing. Well, Justin has made his way to New York City, the big apple,

and the big snapple even. The big snapple. The stars, they're in his eyes. His dreams are finally

coming through and he's decided to pursue his dreams of stardom. Joining the great white

way, he wants to be the whitest person on the white way. If anyone could do it, Justin,

let me stop you right there. He sounds good. Don't use it all up. I got to know, do you have

you prepared a tight two? Yeah, I have a monologue. I have a comedic. I'm not asking about your

homologues. I want to know if you've prepared a tight two for me. If not, I turn on your heels,

do a plie on your heels and get the fuck out of here. I have two contrasting monologues. One is

comedic. One is dramatic. I can ask you about your monologues. Do you have two? I want to hear

you sing two notes. Oh, two notes. A tight two notes. And you bet you only got two, so blow me.

Okay. Okay. No, no, no, no, no, no, Sarah. There. No, that's it. That was perfect. Thank you.

Now we can move on to the monologue phase of the audition. Hold on one second before we move on to

the monologue phase of the audition. Jeffrey Steven Gowdy here. You're done. You're done. Get out of here.

...