The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed.

Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it.

Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool

they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby?

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome, my brother, me and vice-show for the modern era. We have a very

serious message to begin this week's show. On November 6th, you have what is perhaps your most

important responsibility as a citizen? On November 6th, if you use standard two-day shipping on Amazon,

that's the day you're going to need to order your birthday presents for Travis and I to get here

by November 8th. Because I kid you not anything that arrives on November 9th or later goes right in the

trash. You might as well get them kindling because that's all that it's going to turn into.

No, you send me a candle. I will burn it. Try to get that candle and buy the eight. Try to get that

one in under the wire. If it candles in at the night, it's kindling from people. Otherwise, just send

them like a bunch of like rolled up fucking phone book pages. Something to fuel the flame.

Justin McRoy, PO Box 54, Huntington West Virginia, 25706. You got to get those gifts in early folks.

It is so I want to go to the I want to go to the post office and when I go to retrieve my man,

I want it to be like this guy. Oh, and like the old time they pull out a bag of fan mail.

It's like a big big miracle in 34 streets. I have sacks of mail of people who believe in me.

I believe in Justin. Actually, don't send like postcard. I have no use for that.

There's no resell value. How are you going to get these gifts that are

sent to our Huntington based mailbox to Travis who also shares your birthday? Well, we'll get

them to them on on on the on the holiday. All you get them on the Christmas tip. Okay, my

the Christmas tip. Maybe a little regift though. I will try to restrain myself from burning them.

...