The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed.

Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it.

Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool

they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby.

Welcome to my brother, my brother and me, an advice show for the modern era, a historic

week indeed. We now live in a nation where our president, Barack Hussein Obama, has declared

everyone is gay. Yep. What's so funny? Travis, this is... No, I'm just I was so excited. That was

laughter of excitement. It's a major sea change. His announcement was so monumental. I turned to all my

friends and I said today we are all gay and then we just started scooping it. Yeah, bottom's up.

If you know what I mean. I said today is the day we celebrate our independence gay. It was so

strange because I was in a room with a bunch of guys and what was previously a comfortable

gathering of bros, hoisting and watching the news together. It was suddenly like so many layers

of sexual tension. You know. You just put all the dicks in the middle. Wait, you were in a

news bar? I was in a news bar. No, Travis, I was having my first afternoon just news hoist,

just a bunch of bros, hoisting a few bros and watching the news. Bros and news, I call it.

Bros and news. Yeah, I call it. You do it after legs and eggs. Reflando strip.

So welcome to the first episode of my brother, my brother, me, that is completely 100%.

I'm gay. I'm your oldest and by extension, gay as a brother, just macaroid.

Is that how that works? I'm the middleest and gay as a brother.

I'm Griffin, macaroid, I'm your youngest brother and

tatamanibe, you guys. Whoa. The brist thing. I didn't get hit.

You're a federal outlaw now. I'm in the middle of Texas. I didn't know how wave didn't reach me here.

...