The following podcast is a Dear Media production. How long after that was his accident? Like a month and a half after I told him I was pregnant. Take me back to that day. You found out you were pregnant. That day gives me PTSD. Oh my gosh. Like I was freaking out. And I just sat in the shower and cried in the dark for like an hour. Beginning of February when I told him he passed away March 24th. So that's like a month and a half in between. Okay.

When... and like cry in the dark for like an hour beginning of February when I told him he passed away

March 24th so that's like a month and a half in between okay when he got in his accident was he

texting you yeah oh my gosh like those were like the last words I said to him and that's like what he

had when he died his last message like was unfinished like oh my gosh it was my fault he was texting

me because he was obviously like sending

that message when he like hit into a car sent the text or texted him back like he'd still be here

I want to know your sexual abuse writing about those details again was that hard for you to do

yeah it was like I had been through bad relationships like I was an abusive relationship what made

you feel like you needed to stay silent well at the time I felt like I had to because he was blackmailing me that means I was losing my scholarship Like I was an abusive relationship. What made you feel like you needed to stay silent? Well, at the time, I felt like I had to because he was blackmailing me. That means I'm losing

my scholarship. When I was going through, like, I didn't even know I was being abused, like, for like a while. Like what was happening to me? Because I'm like, am I crazy? Like, trust your gut, like your intuition.

Like if something doesn't sound right or it's too good to be true, it probably is.

The amount of messages I got from other women, like that's's when I saw, like, oh, there was a reason

why I needed to share this.

Macy. Welcome to the squeeze. Thank you. Welcome back, I guess. Yes. I did a brief one for Galentines. Yes. This is like the real deal. So I'm excited. We're back in the comfies even though

you're in full glam. I know. Like half ready, half not. Yeah. It's what we're going for today.

It's great. We're comfy and we're glammy. Yes. I've truly, I've just like missed you. Like I know. I just adore you. I wish I lived closer. I know. I really do. I know. I need to just take a little JSX flight over to you. But last time I saw you, you were very pregnant. Yes. Oh my gosh. I know. I feel so much better. Oh my gosh. I'm like I feel so free. How's baby? How has this whole like, would this still be considered newborn? I don't know like what the age is. I think, yeah, until they're eight weeks, I think. Okay. I think technically because she's still, she's still seven. Okay. We're almost there. Oh my gosh. But she's so good. Like she's an angel, but I'm exhausted. So, like, how do you use like those eye drops today during glam? I'm like, I need the no red eyes. Yeah, lima fly. How was birth and all of that stuff? Did everything go this plan? It actually went so good because I knew I was doing a plan C C-section. So I wrote out like I had a birth plan for my last one, but I didn't get to do a lot of things in the plan because they're really particular like with C-sections for some reason. Was your last one a C-section also? Yes, all of them have been. And so I just knew I was good doing because I was like already had two like at this rate. And big babies. I'm going to I didn't want to try. And so I wrote a birth plan again and like was very detailed and I got like the best nurse. Like she was so good. I was like obsessed with her. And I actually met her the week before at Michaela's birth because we gave birth at the same hospital. Oh, that's great. So I met her and I was like, wait, are you working next week? And she's like, oh, yeah, that's my day.

Like you should request me.

So I was like, wait, yeah, are you working next

week? And she's like, oh yeah, that's my day. Like you should request me. So I was like, perfect.

So I felt like I made that connection. And then I had her the day of my birth and she was so good. Like I got to do every single thing in my birth plan, which was like so amazing because I didn't could do that last time. Yeah. So I was so stoked. I got to do like skin to skin in the operating

room. Like I got help like filming the birth because I was like, it's hard for me because I don't do

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