Hi my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation Show.

I love your definition of like when you know that you're choosing the right person

as someone who makes you feel most at home. I love that idea and Martha, my fiance, she's always like, man, I wish I would have met you like 10 years ago.

We would have had so much fun, like over these last 10, 15 years being together.

And I keep saying to her, you know know I wouldn't have been ready for you

because if I would have met you ten years ago I'd have looked at you and I would have not

have had the same level of what if you would call it attraction or just like

curiosity to be in a relationship because my nervous system wasn't built for you.

It wasn't built to feel safe and accepted for who I was.

It wasn't.

I still needed to learn how to regulate my nervous system,

heal, reflect, and really go through familiar with safety.

I think for a lot of people

with safety.

I think for a lot of people, especially those who are playing the field and experiencing different people and whatever, there is a kind of being single is this dopaminogenic cycle.

And it's hard to get off that cycle because you're kind of wired you're

wired for it now you're wired for instant gratification you're wired for

variety and excitement and what next and the dramas of the first few weeks of

knowing someone and the romance of like just figuring each other out and

and texts and phone buzzing and you know this and that and this

person's now called and it's like a frantic sort of dopamine engine that you get stuck in and at a certain point you have to come to value something else more and this happens of course routinely as people get locked into that cycle

And it was clear to me at a certain point. Oh this

...