You will do anything to keep the peace. I don't want to fight anymore. I just want to move past this

with you. I just want us to be back where we were.

Do you say sorry too much in your relationships? What I mean is, do you find yourself always

saying whatever needs to be said in order to keep the peace? There are three things you can do when

you feel the tension and it creates anxiety. I think a good indicator of whether you do say sorry

too much is whether you feel taken for granted, where you feel like the other person doesn't respect you.

It's always going to be the case that when we have a standard, it will inevitably at certain points

mean pointing out something that somebody else did that we didn't like. And of course when we do

that, there's a natural friction or attention that gets created. Many of us aren't comfortable with

that tension. For many of us, tension in a relationship means anxiety and for people that struggle

with anxiety in relationships, they're always looking for peace. They have a very low tolerance

for tension. Now the danger is that if you have a low tolerance for tension and somebody else

has a high tolerance for tension or a different way of putting that is there's nothing more important

than their pride or there's nothing more important than winning an argument. This person may gladly

freeze you out or withdraw love as a result of them feeling bruised, wounded, insecure, unhappy

with something you said. And if you find yourself in a relationship with someone like that,

then in a game of chicken, where it's who moves first, you're always going to move first. They're

always going to win because they're happy to sit there and and endure this tension. Whereas you

are not, you will do anything to keep the peace. Even if it means apologizing for somebody else's

mistakes because your apologies essentially become code for I don't want to find anymore. I just

want to move past this with you. I just want us to be back where we were. And apologizing I want to

say is a good thing in situations where we need to take ownership. The ability to apologize

...