There almost feels like there's an epidemic of people who don't want to commit or who are struggling to commit.

That is not your fault. I think in large part that is due to the culture right now.

What makes a man suddenly decide to commit? My brother Stephen and I put together a brand new gift for you.

There is going to show you what to do practically if you find yourself right now in a situation where you want more from someone.

I also want to give you four practical pieces of psychology that you can use to become the kind of person that someone wants to commit to.

I think there are two types of people loosely who commit. There is the person that commits out of sheer passion and dopamine and oxytocin who just in this feeling of, oh my god, you're my person lightning struck.

I must have you, I must commit to you. You and I are going to build a life together, decides to commit to that person.

Then there's the person who I think of as soberly committing based on a series of decisions and assessments about the way their life has been going and the way they would like it to go.

Now in the case of the first person, I think we have a natural skepticism about that kind of person because we're aware in ourselves that passion can be very fickle and that just as quickly as they decided they must have someone and be with them forever, they can decide actually this isn't what I want.

It doesn't mean that that couple won't stay together. It's just that we know that that couple still has all their work ahead of them in staying together.

It's one of the reasons I think that when you have an older couple at a much younger couple's wedding, there is a sort of that, not a, it doesn't even have to be a skepticism, just a knowing that there's a long road ahead.

In the case of the sober person, I use that word somewhat intentionally because it conjures for me the image that is true for so many people, which is that person who's been going through their life living on a kind of dopamine cycle of dating and casual sex or intimacy,

and the person who's been kind of cycling through people, looking for that passion, looking for that passion, and then the moment they get bored of that moving on again and just constantly cycling through these emotions with a very kind of addict style behavior.

I think we have a culture now that produces more and more people who are addicted to the dopamine cycle. We know this in social media, we know social media has created a world where our attention spans have gotten worse.

But I think that the same is true for so many in their love lives, that the world now is set up for us to get addicted to that dopamine cycle, for us to get lots of hits from lots of people on dating apps,

to have this seeming buffet of choice, and to find ourselves more easily in casual relationships, not that there's anything inherently wrong with them, but when we get addicted to that cycle, achieving depth in a relationship can be harder because a relationship requires a different amount of investment, a different amount of effort, a different amount of work,

then simply meeting someone and hooking up or going on an exciting date. If we live in a world that is producing more of the kind of person that finds it difficult to commit because they are addicted to those cycles, how when we encounter that, do we approach it?

That brings me onto the four things that we can do to become the person that someone commits to, and really what this is about is representing that evolved path for somebody else.

Now, I want to make something really clear, this is not a video about curing someone's commitment phobia, this is not a video about saying that it's our fault or that we need to do something, actually quite the opposite, it's not your fault.

If you've been going through your love life finding that there almost feels like there's an epidemic of people who don't want to commit or who are struggling to commit, that is not your fault.

I think in large part that is due to the culture right now, but what I also believe is that there are a lot of people that have come to the end of that cycle or who find themselves unrewarded by that cycle, who are actually looking for something different.

And if we can represent that, we suddenly become the person that they want to commit to.

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