(Matt Monday): THIS Is The Most Dangerous Moment In Dating

Love Life with Matthew Hussey

Matthew Hussey

Relationships, Society & Culture

4.8 • 2.9K Ratings

🗓️ 13 May 2024

⏱️ 13 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

So you just realized you actually like someone?

Hold up a second . . .

When we fall for someone in the early stages of dating, it’s very easy to drop our standards and lose sight of our boundaries. We check our texts constantly. We cancel other plans for them. We agree to live on their schedule.

This situation is especially dangerous for people who have a more anxious attachment style and tend to respond to relationship uncertainty by bending over backwards to keep someone happy.

In today’s new episode, I explore how different attachment styles respond in this situation, and how you can attract a healthy relationship where your standards and boundaries won’t be trampled.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	God I'm giving so much how can I be communicating that I'm not trustworthy
0:04.0	but when we never give an opinion when we never state what we want or what our needs are
0:08.4	someone gets the impression that they're never getting the real you. I want to talk about the most dangerous moment you can encounter when you're looking for love and why.
0:37.0	And I'm also going to describe a key archetype that you may relate to and if you do, I think you're going to see a lot of your
0:45.4	dating history in this video. So what is the most dangerous moment in dating?
0:55.0	It is the moment we decide we like somebody.
1:00.0	And here's why.
1:01.0	For many of us, finding love is one of our greatest goals in life.
1:05.2	It's something we have wanted for a very long time. It's something we have always seen
1:09.9	as being a fundamental part of our future. And when it feels like it's slipping away,
1:15.7	or it hasn't happened yet,
1:17.7	or that it's never going to happen,
1:19.9	it starts to create a scarcity mindset.
1:24.0	And a scarcity mindset is particularly dangerous
1:27.4	because it starts to change how we behave
1:30.2	and the version of us that we bring to the table when we meet someone.
1:34.0	All of that means that when we actually meet someone we like,
1:39.0	it feels rare, it feels valuable, and it feels like something we need to hold on to at any cost.
1:47.8	And the at any cost part is what really makes it dangerous.
1:53.0	All of us are able to have standards and boundaries
1:57.0	when it comes to someone we don't really care about,
2:01.0	when it comes to someone we don't really want, but when it comes to someone we really want, that is usually the moment
	...

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