They disappeared. No explanation, no closure.

And right now you're probably thinking,

what does that mean and what should I do?

Should I text them? Should I call them?

Should I call them out on this behavior?

Stop!

Before you do anything else, watch this video because what I'm about to tell you is going to put you back in the drivers. What is it that happens to us when someone ghosts us?

Initially, what turns out to be a ghosting doesn't necessarily register as a ghosting. It's just someone

not texting us back. And so in the beginning, it just registers as hurt, maybe even anxiety.

Oh, I've said something wrong. I said something that meant they haven't texted me back in five hours.

Oh, 24 hours, two days. We start to feel anxious that we messed it up somehow.

Then comes the hurt and the disappointment that no text seems to be coming, that this person is no longer engaging with us.

That hurt and disappointment ends up giving way to incredulity.

Disbelief, I don't get it.

Where did they go?

Well, I couldn't have said anything that bad, could I?

And then that incredulity starts to turn into an interrogation of our mistakes, of trying to figure out what's going on in their

mind. Could I have misunderstood this situation completely? Is it something I've done? And especially

if we have a propensity towards people pleasing or self-doubt, then we start to question our worth

in this. Any old wounds we have about being abandoned or not being good enough come to the surface.

And the real people pleases among us might even start to wonder if they owe someone an apology for something. Do I need to say sorry?

Have I done something wrong? Did they just die? What happened? This is an extremely well-trodden

...