(Matt Monday): The “No Contact Rule” Explained

Love Life with Matthew Hussey

Matthew Hussey

Relationships, Society & Culture

4.8 • 2.9K Ratings

🗓️ 9 May 2022

⏱️ 26 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

When a relationship with someone we had strong feelings for (or even loved) ends, we tend to get overwhelmed with emotions.

Whether we were with them for a short period of time or in a long, committed relationship, these feelings are universal.

They can come in the form of raw heartbreak, the feeling that we’ve lost control over our happiness, a paralyzing fear that they might move on, an overwhelming desperation to get them back, or simply the pain of missing someone who used to be a constant in our life.

The trouble is, when heartbreak, control, fear, desperation, or pain are at the wheel, the desire to make ourselves feel better becomes insatiable and this will in turn start to dictate how we conduct ourselves. The solution? Setting yourself a goal.

Perhaps you’ve heard of the “No Contact Rule” but don’t know exactly what it entails, or maybe it sounds a little too counterintuitive for how you feel right now, especially if you’re holding out hope that you could still get back together . . .

Well, I’m here to tell you that’s not the case, and in this episode, I distill the best I’ve learned about breakups and the "No Contact Rule" into everything you need to know on the topic, including what you can say at different stages.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	If the person we've broken up with stays in our lives, calling us constantly, texting us constantly,
0:06.6	we're not actually feeling the pain of that breakup.
0:09.6	Hey everybody, it's Matthew Hasey with the Love Life podcast.
0:32.0	So great to have you back.
0:33.6	I think you're really going to enjoy this.
0:35.8	Let me know on iTunes what you thought about it, leave us a review and now let's get into
0:40.8	the episode.
0:44.4	The No Contact Rule after a breakup.
0:49.7	Let's talk about it.
0:50.7	In this video I want to talk about what the No Contact Rule is, why it's important and
0:58.9	what do you do if you're doing no contact but the person who broke up with you reaches
1:04.3	out to you during the No Contact period.
1:08.0	Of any program I have ever created, the idea of the No Contact Guiding Principle after
1:19.0	a breakup is probably the idea that elicits the most questions from people who have the
1:26.2	program.
1:27.2	There's a particular program I created called Get Him Running Back To You, which James and
1:31.7	I still find to be a questionable name for the program.
1:34.4	In fact, the program itself is one that I had to have a giant debate within my own mind
1:41.0	and with my team about whether we were going to create in the first place because the
1:45.4	idea of any kind of program that helps you win someone back just seemed icky.
1:51.7	The problem was of all the questions I get, a staggering number of them are to do with
1:58.1	how to get someone back after a breakup, what I realized was people are going to try and
	...

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