The danger of playing Cool Girl is that it attracts the wrong guys.

It also doesn't model the kind of behaviour that would reveal the right guys.

Are you in a situation with someone where when you are with them, it feels amazing.

You feel connected to this person, you feel like they show you with attention, they are there, they're excited, they can't get enough of you.

And then when you're apart, you feel like you don't exist.

You don't get their attention, they barely communicate with you, it gets very, very cold.

It creates a kind of crazy making scenario where you feel like you're living in two completely different worlds.

The one where this person is extremely into you and then this complete other reality where it doesn't seem like this person is thinking about you at all.

I'm going to walk you through some classic mistakes to avoid in this scenario and I'm going to give you two very specific text messages to get you out of it.

Let's talk for a moment about a classic mistake that people make in this scenario and then use it as justification to keep going with this person.

Now the problem is there's a big difference between attention and intention. Attention is when someone is just giving us attention and looking for attention when they want to experience something romantically.

Intention is when I have a vision for myself romantically, when I actually see myself creating something, building something and when someone goes hot and cold in this way, what they're showing you is they're all about attention but not intention.

When they disappear, that's a massive red flag and the reason it's a red flag is because it says I'm interested in having a romantic experience with you but I'm not interested in making romantic progress with you.

Think about it. When someone goes cold, what do they say are the excuses? I'm busy with work, I'm busy with friends, I'm busy with family, I'm busy with my hobbies.

But what that tells you is they are busy with their priorities. They are busy with things that they want to move the ball forward on.

Things they want to progress, I want to progress my business which is why it's getting my time. I want to progress my friendships which is why they're getting time.

I want to progress my skill in this hobby which is why it's getting my time.

So by that logic, you have to then say the reason you're not hearing from them is because their romantic life with you is not something they're trying to progress.

It's just something they want to experience in moments that are convenient to them.

The second mistake people make is mirroring that person's behavior in a situation like this.

Now a lot of people do this feeling like they're following things I've said over the years.

So for example, many people have heard me, if you've followed me for a long time, you know that I've said many times, invest in who invests in you.

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