(Matt Monday): 12 Hard Truths You Need to Know to Avoid Toxic Relationships

Love Life with Matthew Hussey

Matthew Hussey

Relationships, Society & Culture

4.8 • 2.9K Ratings

🗓️ 6 November 2023

⏱️ 21 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Have you ever felt like you had to walk on eggshells in a relationship? Or had a partner who criticized you or made you feel bad when you were succeeding?

It’s often easier to see a toxic relationship from the outside than when you’re in the thick of it. Sometimes it can even be hard to tell the difference between something that can be worked on and a major red flag.

For today’s new video, I’ve gathered 12 of my most important pieces of advice over the years on how to spot a toxic relationship, set standards, and ultimately find the love you’re looking for so you don’t end up in a relationship that damages your self-confidence.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Because if we stay with someone who won't change and we're unwilling to shift our expectation,
0:06.0	then we become the reason we're complaining. Oh, Welcome everybody to the Love Life Podcast. I am Matthew Hussey and I believe today's episode is really going to help you
0:35.4	accelerate your love life today. Check it out and I'll speak to you at the end of
0:40.3	the episode. of the
0:51.0	five ways that I've thought about that really indicate someone is poisonous for your life. The first one, in an argument they look to inflict damage not solve
0:56.1	problems. I always think about it like Scorpion mode. You get near a scorpion, it
1:01.0	gets afraid and it stings you.
1:04.0	And you'll also find, by the way, that when you're doing something that makes them feel
1:08.8	insecure, let's say you're going out in the evening and it's something that maybe they're not invited to
1:15.6	maybe it's this is just something you're going to on your own if they're feeling insecure
1:20.0	about it they won't come to you with that vulnerability. Instead they'll make it a fight and then
1:27.6	go to one-upmanship or revenge. So now they'll go out but it will be about one-uping you doing something that will make you even more jealous than they feel right now again it's about inflicting damage not about solving problems
1:40.5	Number two they treat everything like it's an attack. You may come to them in
1:45.8	a completely civil and rational way and choose your words very carefully and say,
1:51.1	listen, I just wanted to talk to you about that thing this week
1:53.8	you'll find that they will meet that with aggression by the way one of the
1:58.1	common side effects of this and you may have seen this for yourself is you'll find
2:01.9	yourself now afraid to bring up problems with them.
2:05.0	You sit there agonizing over what words to use and treading on eggshells as you say something. If you're doing that to the extreme, it means that you don't have a healthy
2:16.6	relationship with constructive criticism in your relationship.
2:19.9	Three, they make you the root of all evil.
2:23.6	So now, instead of admitting that something is actually their fault,
	...

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