Matt Koff Has Never Seen Ted Lasso

Never Seen It with Kyle Ayers

Kyle Ayers

Tv & Film, Comedy

4.7 • 687 Ratings

🗓️ 14 May 2026

⏱️ 65 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Matt Koff (The Daily Show) has never seen "Ted Lasso" but he rewrote it, and we read his script. His script has Fred Lasso, There's Susan Lasso. All of the Lassos. Is there... soccer? Matt and Kyle talk about Ted Lasso, what Matt knows about it, and its relation to Kyle's hometown of Kansas City. The two are joined by another Kansas Citian, Joe McAdam! We have Ted talk, play a bunch of games, and more! ⁠Subscribe to the Patreon⁠ and enjoy no ads, and LOTS of bonus time and help keep the pod going! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Inspired by jet engine silences.
0:03.0	The Dyson Hushjet Purify powerfully purifies the entire room, quietly.
0:10.0	Capturing pollen, allergens and pet dander, removing odours and harmful gases such as NO2, day and night.
0:20.0	Hushjet. which is NO2, day and night.
0:21.6	Uschjet, powerful compact purification, that's quiet.
0:28.6	Heyder, it's your big McDonald's hunger calling, and it's not just any kind of hunger.
0:34.6	It's the kind that calls for big arch.
0:36.6	Start with juicy beef, cheddar cheese and big arch sauce.
0:40.3	Oh, and don't forget those crispy onions.
0:42.6	Hungry?
0:43.4	You are now.
0:46.6	Saved from 11am.
0:47.8	Subject to availability.
0:48.7	Price and participation may vary.
0:50.0	In a world where every conversation is about what movie or TV show you've just seen, this is never seen it.
1:02.1	Comedians rewriting famous movies and TV shows they've never seen.
1:08.7	Hey everybody, this has never seen it.
1:10.5	This is the podcast where comedians rewrite famous movies and TV shows they've never seen before, and we read those scripts. Today, Matt Koff is here. Matt has never seen Ted Lassau, but he rewrites it and we read his script. I'm your host, Kyle Ayers. Thank you so much for being here, folks. Matt is one of my favorite joke writers.
1:27.7	He's a hilarious stand-of-comedian. He's a writer for the daily show. He's so great. The script is so great. You're going to love it. And if you like Matt's stuff, go check out his new comedy special, Catman, which premieres on YouTube tomorrow when this comes out, which will be Friday, May 15th. Sorry for being a day late on the drop here.
1:44.7	Just got a little scheduling snafu and got it all figured out.
1:47.5	But you're going to love this. when this comes out, which will be Friday, May 15th. Sorry for being a day late on the drop here.
1:44.7	Just got a little scheduling snafu and got it all figured out, but you're going to love this.
	...

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