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Big Swings Only

Master Conflict Without Losing Control: The Secrets of Elite Negotiators

Big Swings Only

American Negotiation Institute

Self-improvement, Business, Education

4.7751 Ratings

🗓️ 22 June 2026

⏱️ 81 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Most people don't fail in difficult conversations because they lack knowledge — they fail because they lose control of themselves. In this special episode, our host, negotiation expert Kwame Christian sits down with Ohio State Moritz College of Law Professor Katrina Lee to answer the toughest questions from her law students about negotiation, persuasion, emotional regulation, and conflict. Together, they explore what separates great negotiators from everyone else—from mastering the empathy loop and building genuine trust to using storytelling, curiosity, and strategic listening to influence outcomes. Kwame shares practical techniques for staying calm under pressure, handling interruptions, navigating emotionally charged conversations, and finding confidence when the stakes are high. You'll learn: • Why listening is often more powerful than problem-solving • How to use the 70/30 rule to create deeper connections • The difference between genuine curiosity and strategic curiosity • How storytelling shapes persuasion and decision-making • Techniques for regulating emotions during difficult conversations • Why humility is a hidden superpower in negotiation • How to turn conflict into collaboration without sacrificing your goals Along the way, Kwame shares personal stories from high-stakes business negotiations, lessons from coaching leaders around the world, and the mindset shifts that have helped millions of listeners become more effective communicators. Whether you're a lawyer, leader, salesperson, entrepreneur, or simply someone who wants better conversations at work and at home, this episode will give you actionable tools to communicate with more confidence, influence, and emotional intelligence. Because the best negotiators aren't the loudest people in the room—they're the ones who know how to listen. Contact ANI⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Request A Customized Workshop For Your Company⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow Kwame Christian on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠negotiateanything.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Click here to buy your copy of Finding Confidence in Conflict: How to Negotiate Anything and Live Your Best Life!

Transcript

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0:00.0

Humility is a core negotiation skill in my perspective because it helps you to be honest with yourself and others about your limits of what you do know.

0:11.0

Sometimes people are eager to not be humble.

0:15.0

It's like I am in a state of humility, not by choice but by circumstance.

0:19.0

So you can still be extremely confident and extremely humble at the same time.

0:25.6

And I know I can win games that are within my control.

0:29.6

I can't guarantee an outcome of a negotiation, but I can always be in control of my performance.

0:34.6

So one of the games that I play, especially in the tough negotiations, is how calm can I be?

0:42.2

Fear is a useful tool.

0:44.0

We just need to make sure that we're fearing the right thing.

0:49.6

This episode is brought to you by Granola, Shopify, HomeServe, and What Not.

0:54.4

If you want to stay fully present in every meeting while still walking away with clear structured notes, try Granola.

1:01.7

Try it free for three months at granola.a.i slash Kwami.

1:06.1

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1:13.6

HVAC, electrical, and more. Enroll today for 50% off your first year at homeserve.com

1:20.7

slash Kwame. If you're building a business or just looking to sell more, WOTN is the largest

1:26.5

live shopping marketplace in the country.

1:28.3

Download the What Not app today and get free shipping on your first order. Just search WHATNOT, What Not, in the app store and start scoring amazing deals.

1:39.3

Ready to launch or grow your business? start with Shopify, the commerce platform behind millions

1:45.0

of entrepreneurs worldwide. Sign up for your $1 per month trial at Shopify.com slash Kwame.

1:53.7

How about we set the stage by talking about the Edmiston Lecture and the folks that you teach,

1:59.8

and then we could roll from there? Yeah, sure. So the Edmiston lecture and the folks that you teach, and then we could roll from there.

2:01.7

Yeah, sure. So the Edmiston lecture is a lecture here at the Ohio State University,

...

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