You don't know me.

A confession I can't take back.

I am.

The masked speaker.

We got a text in to 78592 that says, I'm a dentist and honestly my number one judgment about patients isn't if they floss.

It's if they don't trim their nose hairs.

Oh, that's so funny.

I never thought about that.

Oh, I got to look.

Surprisingly, ladies are often worse, so please trim them before your next visit.

I think ladies would be more like...

Dude, my husband's always always on me to trim my nose hair.

Oh, that's what marriage is. I mean, Brooke refuses to trim her nose hair. Oh, that what marriage is?

Brooke refuses to trim her armpit or her leg hair, so I'm doubting she's going to go anywhere near her nose with it. It's like, come on. I like her brook's other hair is longer than her head hair. I'm like, you're taller than me. It's not like you're looking at it all the time. That's true. You know? Yeah, you got to look up his.

But you know what?

We do appreciate the helpful tips,

and we especially appreciate the secrets that our listeners share right here on the mass speaker. We've got a guy who's ready to spill his truth and wants to go by Paul today. So Paul, welcome to the show. How's your nose hair doing? I feel like it's good. All right, guys. Thanks for having me. I can hear your nose hairs as you speak. They're blowing in the wind.

It's good. All right, guys. Thanks for having me. I can hear your nose hairs as you speak. They're blowing in the wind. It's so tickly to do that, though. Oh, I know. I know. But it's a whole one. Sorry, Paul. This is about you, not about us. That's right. Hairs aside, Paul, voice changer is on. You're the mass speaker. whenever you're ready, let's hear your confession. Okay, so yeah, this is really embarrassing.

So back in college, I was dating

this girl. And then her parents came to visit and was still like really early in the relationship.

And like especially for me like do the music parents thing, but they came out of dorm and her mom is really sweet and she invited me to lunch. Oh my gosh. That's a lot. Like, if you weren't even ready to meet them and all of a sudden, the mom's like, let's go to lunch. That's a good sign. It means they're like, they're really nice people. And then I said, sure. Yeah, free lunch for a college kid. You're not going to pass that up. Of course. That's a good point. Normally, that would be the case. You know, yeah, free lunch, but I was, like, super hungover. And I had, like, three A McMuffins trying to soak up this alcohol. Oh, my God. It's amazing what a college kid can stomach. Dude, seriously. I do that still. So you went with them? Yeah, yeah. So I go out with them and then I'm going to this Thai place. I've never had Thai before. Oh, that's so funny. Oh, God. So good, though. But it's a little bit intimidating for your first time. Very true. Yeah. You can always get the cashew chicken. Or just a bowl of plain white rice. They're safe. They're safe. Yeah, so we're at this Thai place, and it's already awkward. Like, I don't mind meeting your parents, but I want to do it where I'm, like, not so hung over, you know? Yeah.

So like in six years when you're out of college.

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