You don't know me.

A confession I can't take back.

I am.

The masked speaker.

Text to 78592 says, I attended a random funeral once just so I could use the free Wi-Fi there to stream a football game on my phone.

Oh my gosh. Not my proudest moment and my team lost. Imagine asking them for the password. Hey, does anybody know what the password? I bet there's at least three other people at that funeral that wanted to watch a game with you. Yeah. I picture I'm getting a little bit too excited, though, while they're lowering the casket.

He's like, yeah, go, go.

What I'm talking about?

But he was crying at the end because they lost. That's right. Okay, he fit right in. But you know what? We'll let you use our station Wi-Fi totally free while you tell us a secret here on the mass speaker. And we've got a guy on the phone ready to come clean today who's chosen Marcus as his fake name.

So Marcus, welcome to the show.

Yeah. on the mass speaker. And we've got a guy on the phone ready to come clean today who's chosen Marcus as his fake name. So Marcus, welcome to the show. Hey, how you doing, guys? Good. We're excited for your big secret, Marcus. Try not to read into the sexual nature of how Brooks said that, but the voice changer is on. I emphasize secret, not bad. Okay, sure. Voice changer is on. You are the mass speaker. Whenever you're ready, let's hear your confession. You guys, I can't believe how dumb this is, but... Oh, a dumb confession. I'm sure we can top you, so bring it on. Yeah, what are you got? It's pretty stupid. I don't know why. I don't even know why we even did this.

Okay.

This was years ago. This was not like last week or anything. This was right after college, my early 20s, I'm living with a group of guys, right? Okay. All right. Now, understand these guys are not just regular guys. Number one, we were big partiers. That sounds pretty regular to me, but okay. Guys who party in their 20s work. We're not regular college bros.

We drank. What degenerates. Well, you've got to understand a little bit about these guys. They're not just regular guys, I'm telling you. These dudes, my roommates, are male models. Oh. All of them? A whole house of them? Dang, yeah, that's hard to do. What college did you go to again? You of A? I was going to reenlist. Wait, are you also a male model? I am not. I'm just a regular looking guy. Okay. Next to them, you're ugly. The voice changer, we thought you were definitely a model.

Yeah, totally.

Okay.

Right.

Now, here's what we do.

We would go out to clubs.

Okay.

Now, because these dudes were the type of dudes they were, just like being with hot women, we would get into places we normally wouldn't get in.

Absolutely.

...