Mary Magdalene Shows Up As Jesus Skips Town
The God Show
God
4.6 • 1.1K Ratings
🗓️ 12 August 2021
⏱️ 64 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Mary Magdalene makes her first appearance on the God Pod just as Jesus skips town for two weeks. Mary tells God and Satan what it was like hanging out with Jesus back in the old days. God asked humans which comedian they want resurrected and reviews their answers. God also humans what the last thing they bought was (because that will be their weapon to fight Satan). Finally, the gang talks about the latest in the Goddamn News, from Kenneth Copeland saying God couldn't use his private jet to Ron DeSantis leading Florida off a cliff.
After 6000 years of running the universe, God realized that Satan is kicking his butt, like, really bad. Over the centuries and despite lots of trying, God has not been able to smite the forces of evil. So, he started a podcast to do just that. Full of fun and heart, the God Pod is a twice-weekly opportunity for God to hang out with his fellow deities and maybe even meet some interesting humans.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This week on the God pod. This is your first appearance on the God pod, Mary Megs. What's up? |
| 0:06.2 | Really, really excited to get into the truth. |
| 0:11.0 | Special editing was applied to my story, so... |
| 0:18.2 | Spill. |
| 0:19.2 | Talk about your story, dish. |
| 0:21.1 | Single loves one thing. Gossip, hot goss. |
| 0:24.9 | Hot goss. |
| 0:26.9 | Also, you know, tempting man. But other than that, you know, what's more tempting than gossip? |
| 0:32.9 | This is really good that Jesus isn't here actually. |
| 0:35.6 | I'll say it, the wine that he makes out of the water, it just tastes like water. |
| 0:39.6 | It's probably like one percent, one or two percent. |
| 0:43.2 | He swears it's a Cabernet, everyone. |
| 0:45.6 | Yeah, no, that's a that's a light, light saff. |
| 0:49.0 | Wow. |
| 0:51.2 | It was a 1918 with the Spanish Influenza. |
| 0:54.9 | They had groups of people going around, whipping you if you didn't wear a... |
| 1:02.0 | Really? |
| 1:02.8 | Yes. |
| 1:03.7 | Okay, breaking news, everyone. We're here live on the scene and Mary Magdalene has just |
| 1:08.5 | recommended whipping people who are amazing. |
| 1:11.9 | Just a little bit, because the fines aren't good. |
| 1:14.4 | Just a little bit. |
... |
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