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Good Life Project

Mark Lukach: When Mental Illness Changes Everything.

Good Life Project

Jonathan Fields / Acast

Living Well, Midlife, Education, Health & Fitness, Wellness, Self-improvement, Intentional Living, Personal Growth, How To

4.53.4K Ratings

🗓️ 11 September 2017

⏱️ 72 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Guest: Mark Lukach is a teacher and freelance writer. His work has been published in the New York Times, The Atlantic, Pacific Standard, Wired, and other publications.

He is currently the ninth grade dean at The Athenian School, where he also teaches history. He lives with his wife, Giulia, and their son in the San Francisco Bay area.

His latest book, a heart-wrenching memoir, is called My Lovely Wife in the Psych WardMark first wrote about Giulia in a New York Times “Modern Love” column and again in a piece for Pacific Standard Magazine, which was the magazine’s most-read article in 2015.

Story: During his freshman year in college, Mark spotted the love of his life across the quad and immediately knew he would spend the rest of his life with her. They became inseparable: they graduated together, married, and began building an exquisite life with dreams, hopes and expectations. Until one day he came home to find his lovely wife living in a radically different world – a state that he now knows to be deep psychosis. Staying profoundly committed to each other, Mark and Giulia learned to navigate the challenging times and rebuild their lives and their family.

Big Idea: In today’s world of the "ideal life", as portrayed by social media, people yearn to be open and vulnerable, and have authentic conversations about what they are going through. They are desperate for deep human-to-human connection without trying to pretend that things are better.

You’d never guess: How Mark and Giulia, as a couple, came up with a plan to deal with potential future psychotic relapses without totally disrupting their lives.

Current passion project: Mark works as a 9th Grade Dean, helping families with the transition from middle school to high school.


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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

I mean, Julia was never really what I would consider a very religious person.

0:08.1

So for her to even talk about God at all, let alone to be in conversation with God.

0:13.7

I was like, this is not typical, especially while not sleeping and not eating, and she

0:18.8

was losing a lot of weight.

0:20.6

But then they turned where it became much more negative, where it was like, not God

0:25.4

saying everything's going to be okay, but the devil saying everything's not going to

0:29.2

be okay, and you're not worth taking care of, you're not worth protecting or saving.

0:34.7

And that was the moment when I woke up and she was talking about devil, that's when I

0:39.5

was like, okay, we really need to go get help.

0:46.3

So imagine falling in love at the age of 18, seeing that person freshman year of college

0:51.0

across the quad and knowing you would spend the rest of your life with them.

0:55.8

That's the story of today's guest, Mark Lukuch, who saw that woman across the quad and

1:02.7

became immediately inseparable.

1:04.7

They graduated together, they married, they started building an exquisite life with dreams

1:09.8

and hopes and expectations.

1:12.4

Until one day he came home and found her living in a radically different world in the state

1:17.9

of what he now knows to be deep psychosis.

1:21.7

What he discovered, what they discovered in that moment, the journey that they would

1:26.2

then start to take together and how they would navigate some really, really challenging

1:33.2

times and rebuild their lives together differently.

1:37.7

And Stapro family committed as they do that, that's where we're going in today's conversation.

1:45.3

Mark is also the author of a book that details this entire journey called My Lovely

...

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