Hello, my little baby clams.

It's me, Allison, before the show officially starts.

A few words.

I need to tell you guys about something which happened to me, which was awful and horrible

and disgusting and I can't believe that it happened and it's going to gross you out.

And I shouldn't, it involves my period and I shouldn't talk about it.

I know I shouldn't because I was thinking about it.

You don't hear people talking about their periods and dealing with it that much and there

must be a reason why it's because it turns people off.

So men, shut your ear holes, ladies, listen up because what the fuck?

So anyway, I had to go to New York this weekend for work.

It was very fast.

I went on a Friday, came back on a Saturday and the reason, really, the meetings and stuff

were on Saturday and I had some time to kill in between that and when the car was going

to pick me up to go to the airport, I had already checked out of the hotel.

My suitcases and whatnot were being stashed at the hotel and my sister lives there.

So I met up with her and her husband and we were getting a snack at, like at a, let's

say, a mall, a center.

I had my period and I've had my period now for, let's see, longer than I haven't and I'd

like to say I'm fairly on top of timing out, like, you know, just, you know, being in charge

of it, like a person who doesn't mess their underwear up and whatnot.

So anyway, but somehow I lost control and I, so we're sitting there and I was like,

...