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Collie's 10 minute pod

Margaritaville | Ep. 27

Collie's 10 minute pod

Colum Tyrrell

Comedy

4.8599 Ratings

🗓️ 28 July 2022

⏱️ 76 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this episode of The Colum Tyrrell Podcast, Colum discusses the mysteries of ancient Egypt, Matt Gaetz's recent controversy and controversial statements, trashy chain-restaurant cocktails, and picking up girls at gay bars.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to an episode of the Columtero podcast. No guests today. We're going solo. Fuck the guests. They never changed my life. They don't like you. I just talk with them. They all call you rapists and ugly. They all call you ugly rapists. Every guest I've ever had, right? They're not invited back. It's a solo podcast now. I'm ranting. I'm raving. I've got some bones to pick, which changed nothing. Let's go. I'm here to be scaremonger you. I wish I was smart enough to really scaremonger the people and just let you all know. The fucking gas prices, they're not going down. The recession's upon us. And how do I know? Fucking Tim Dillon said so. I don't know. Where does he get his information? How is he so confident? I'm always just like, I don't know anything. So it's the worst type of broadcasting is like being like me, which is like, I don't know. Just from a place of ignorance. You could convince me my name is wrong by just asking me to go, what's your name?

0:56.6

Call them.

0:57.1

Is it?

0:57.8

Yeah.

0:59.0

Really?

1:00.2

Not really, no.

1:01.8

Don't happen on skanks.

1:03.1

Yeah.

1:04.0

Technically it's not.

1:06.3

I change my name because you American fucks refuse to learn.

1:12.1

Get the fuck out of hell foreign names, all right?

1:13.8

You hate foreign names and I'm one of these foreign names too

1:16.5

so I actually was the right thing to do

1:19.1

this is why my children will be successful

1:21.2

because they're white all right

1:23.1

and that's not

1:24.2

that sounds bad

1:26.3

that's not a bad as far as It was the second I said it... I'll take too long. The second I said it was like, can we cut that? No. I'm a white guy who came over, saw how things are running, and I didn't say, all right, let me try teach you the intricacies of the Celtic language. A little bit of Gaelic in here. Let me get into the vernacular behind the L.M sounding fucking letters. What the fuck was that going on over there? You guys, the boys in the boot were playing fucking rock, paper, scissors or something. I don't know why you guys. Were you passing fucking, you were passes up? Why is it? He pulled this notebook out. Was that what it was? Mind your peas and cues over there. Fuck me. I can't do everything. It was a look of, there was one of the cameras went on or something. You were like, I fucking, you guys are fucking snakes over there. We're sabotaging this whole production. Anyway, I came over. I just said, let's save the, and I've told, if you really watch every episode and listen every episode, you've heard me say this every episode for years now. I added the you to my name because it just, that's how you sound, it sounds, I see. But then you meet other people, they'll come from Saudi Arabia or whatever and they're like no no i'm keeping the fucking l mk which sounds like yuck

2:39.2

or something and you're like oh no is that a single vowel in it there was this you see someone

2:44.8

and you go yuck and go that is that's how you pronounce it how you doing um Yeah, exactly.

2:54.3

So that's why I'm not to be successful and other people are going to be,

2:55.7

they refuse to adapt.

...

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