Margaret Cho - They Told Me I Was Too Fat To Play Myself

How To Fail With Elizabeth Day

Sony Music

Society & Culture

4.8 • 9.4K Ratings

🗓️ 7 January 2026

⏱️ 59 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

This episode contains description of addiction, eating disorders and discussion of suicide. Our guest today is the pioneering comedian, actor and activist Margaret Cho. She began performing comedy as a teenager, opening for Jerry Seinfeld at just 14, before becoming one of the most influential stand-ups of her generation. Now in her 50s, Margaret reflects in this episode on the cancellation of her groundbreaking sitcom, All-American Girl, and the surreal "miscalculations" of a network that hired consultants to ensure she was "doing Asian right". She speaks candidly about the "mind f***" of being told she was "too fat to play herself", which triggered a dangerous spiral into disordered eating, 90s diet drugs and eventual kidney failure. She opens up about a suicidal near-death experience that she was initially too afraid to admit even to herself - and about the intervention by friends that finally led her to sobriety. This conversation explores shame, rage and the life-saving importance of humour. Because, as Margaret says, sometimes laughter can be the thing that keeps you breathing. ✨ IN THIS EPISODE: 00:00 Introduction 04:37 Childhood Reflections 06:59 Political and Social Commentary 10:43 The Sitcom Experience 18:35 Body Image and Health Struggles 26:13 Legacy and Influence 26:54 The Struggle with Diet Culture 28:34 Embarrassing Moments on Stage 32:10 Family Influence on Weight Issues 33:22 Seeking Help and Therapy 34:05 Childhood Abuse and Its Impact 37:27 Battling Drug and Alcohol Addiction 43:09 Intervention and Recovery 46:51 Finding Hope and Happiness 💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER: You carry the otherness with you as a kind of residual suffering that's still there. Shame is such an electric emotion. It really ignites your history and gets to the core of who you are. I think that's vital as an artist and also it improves your art if you can somehow rise above it. Humour is really hope. Humour and laughter is the intake of breath, which is the preservation of the body for the next moment. The more deep work that you do, the more pain you've endured, the more you can share with the world. 🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS: When life is difficult, Samaritans are here – day or night, 365 days a year. You can call them for free on 116 123, email them at jo@samaritans.org, or visit www.samaritans.org to find your nearest branch. Margaret Cho’s Choligarchy Comedy Tour Join the How To Fail community: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Elizabeth’s Substack: https://theelizabethday.substack.com/ 📚 WANT MORE? Monica Lewinsky - on public shame, misogyny and learning how to reclaim your story after being defined by one moment swap.fm/l/jD3LnWFLZq4jRqSX1yQ9 Lily Allen - on addiction, recovery and rebuilding self-worth under intense public scrutiny https://link.chtbl.com/7f_TpEQ6 Phoebe Waller-Bridge - on Fleabag, creativity and learning to trust your own voice https://link.chtbl.com/Vmnz_IXz 💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE? Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories 👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth: Instagram: @elizabday TikTok: @howtofailpod Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod Website: www.elizabethday.org Elizabeth and Margaret answer live audience questions in our subscriber series, Failing with Friends. Join our community of subscribers here: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan Engineer: Matias Torres Assistant Producer: Suhaar Ali Senior Producer: Joanna Clay Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot Executive Producer: Alex Lawless How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production. Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	This month, we are partnering with Pink Lady Apples.
0:03.2	When I was a kid, I was around gay men and lesbians and drag queens and people transitioning,
0:11.0	people getting full-body tattoos.
0:13.0	This is in the 70s.
0:15.0	That's why it was so upsetting when I started to kidnap people off of the street, people who look like me, people who are just like me, who are also all-American.
0:28.0	And it was so disturbing.
0:29.8	I started taking Fen, which was like a 90s diet drug that was like speed.
0:34.8	But you're being told that you don't look right to play yourself.
0:38.6	What do you even say about that? You know, like you're too fat to be you. If anyone listening or
0:43.9	watching this is going through some of the things that you've described, addiction, disorder
0:50.0	eating, and they feel like there is no hope. What would you say to them?
0:57.4	This episode is brought to you by Airbnb. I wanted to tell you about one of my favorite
1:02.8	recent trips. Early this month, Justin and I stayed in the most gorgeous Airbnb apartment in
1:08.2	Berlin. We spent our days eating way too much cheese, wandering through
1:12.8	Christmas markets with hot chocolate in hand and exploring some of my favourite corners of the city.
1:18.9	For trips like this, a hotel just never gives us the space or feeling we're after. Our charming
1:24.9	Airbnb was perfect, in a less touristy neighbourhood but still close to everything.
1:30.2	The beautifully-tiled kitchen and cosy living area became our spot for a pre-dinner aperitivo
1:35.2	before heading out into one of my favourite cities for the evening.
1:39.4	I found the place using Airbnb's guest favourites feature.
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1:46.2	stellar reviews and reliability. It makes it so easy to find the coziest, cleanest, all-round
	...

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