March 28, 2011

TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

TBTL

Comedy, Leisure

4.8 • 2.4K Ratings

🗓️ 28 March 2011

⏱️ 88 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Bret Michaels sues The Tonys, but his case is undermined by the hilariously Top Gun-related writing entered into court by his attorneys. Plus, the LA Times tries to make Jen care about the face-bitingly sexy Tasmanian Devil with limited success.

Transcript

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0:00.0	People who really want to have a good time won't come to a slaughterhouse.
0:03.8	And we've gotten entirely too many trouble-makers here.
0:07.2	Too many, uh, 40-year-old adolescents, felons,
0:11.3	power drinkers, and trustees of modern chemistry.
0:15.5	It's going to change.
0:17.5	And that sure sounds good.
0:20.1	But a lot of the guys who come in here, we can't handle one-on-one.
0:24.4	You've been two-on-one.
0:26.1	Don't worry about it.
0:28.0	All you have to do is follow three simple rules.
0:30.5	One, never underestimate your opponent.
0:34.4	Expect the unexpected.
0:37.4	Two, take it outside.
0:39.8	Never start anything inside the barn,
0:42.1	unless it's absolutely necessary.
0:45.3	And three, be nice.
0:48.4	TVTL.
0:51.4	Hey there, folks.
0:55.5	Welcome to a Monday afternoon edition of TVTL.
0:59.3	This is the show that's probably too beautiful to live.
1:03.1	It's like I'm walking on sunshine.
1:06.2	Indeed, I'm your host, Luke Burbank,
	...

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