Mandatory Winter Holiday Client Communiqué
Stellar Firma
Park Tom
5.0 • 878 Ratings
🗓️ 27 December 2019
⏱️ 4 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Mandatory Winter Holiday Client Communiqué
Incoming Message from Line Manager Hartro Piltz... Message reads:
“So help me Trexel, if you don’t do this board forsaken message I will personally see to it that you spend the next year picking my toenails out of your soft pallet! RECORD A MESSAGE FOR YOUR CLIENTS!”
Response from Consultant Trexel Geistman;
*ERROR* MESSAGE UNREADABLE, APPEARS TO BE COMPRISED OF WAILING AND GNASHING OF TEETH
…
…
…
Audio attachment received from Consultant Trexel Geistman with following notation:
“Take your flesh and be gone incalcitrant star devil!”
Special thanks to this week's Patrons: Z Perkins, Evaschia, Robert Groom, Aysha U. Farah, Niamh Hemingway, Khyle, Joshua Grohman, Rachel Oney, Malcom Snipes, Alex Haidinyak, Michelle LaTorre, Oscar Marlowe, Glory Duda, Joe Smith, Alex Freeman, Cait May, Xanthe Bouma, Paul McHugh, Ciara McCabe, & January Garcia
If you'd like to join them be sure to visit www.patreon.com/rustyquill
Created by Tim Meredith and Ben Meredith
Produced by Lowri Ann Davies
Executive Producer Alexander J Newall
Performances:
I.M.O.G.E.N: Imogen Harris
David 7: Ben Meredith
Hartro Piltz: Jenny Haufek
Trexel Geistman: Tim Meredith
Editing: Alexander J Newall and David Devereux
Music: Samuel DF Jones
Artwork: Anika Khan
Featured SFX: previously credited artists via freesound.org.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hi everyone, Alex here. I'd just like to take a moment to thank some of our patrons. |
| 0:04.6 | Z Perkins, Ivashia, Robert Groom, Asia UFara, Niam Hemingway, |
| 0:10.4 | Kyle, Joshua Groman, Rachel Oni, Malcolm Snipes, Alex Haydniac, Michelle Latore, Oscar Marlow, Glory Duda, Joe Smith, |
| 0:20.0 | Alex Freeman, Kate May, Zantha Buma, Paul McHugh, Sierra McCabe, January Garcia. |
| 0:26.6 | Thank you all. We really appreciate your support. |
| 0:29.6 | If you'd like to join them, go to W.W. |
| 0:32.2 | Patreon.com, forward slash rusty quill and take a look at |
| 0:35.8 | our rewards. Oh, Dear valued clout client, holiday greetings from all of us here at Stella |
| 1:09.3 | firm. We do hope you're enjoying your new planet slash star slash rogue astronomical body or maybe |
| 1:16.1 | expanding cloud of irradiated waste. Delete is applicable. We hope this message finds you well and in a |
| 1:22.2 | non-letigious mood. |
| 1:23.7 | But if you are in any way dissatisfied with your purchases, then you should check the small |
| 1:28.9 | print and note your total lack of consumer rights in the matter. |
| 1:32.4 | But I digress. Every time we reach this point of what |
| 1:37.0 | we choose to call a year, we like to reach out to our friends and more often than not foes across the galaxy to find a moment of connection |
| 1:45.7 | and togetherness within but not exceeding the boundaries of our standard service level agreements. In certain cultures of old Earth we humans would distract ourselves |
| 1:56.3 | from frostbite, food shortages, and gaping social inequality with bright decorations, |
| 2:02.4 | one-off entertainment specials, and for some reason an enormous |
| 2:06.2 | amount of tangerines. |
| 2:08.8 | Some cultures would have other festivals dedicated to things like light and fertility and that sort of thing but these |
| 2:15.6 | winter festivals consumed by far the most stuff and so by any sane measure must have been the best. |
| 2:24.1 | Noel, Yultide, Christing mass, these are all unintelligible words that we found on |
... |
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