This episode of Klein Alley Show is brought to you by the only place with good airport news these days, San Bernardino International Airport.

That's right.

Grab your skis and fly to Provo from San Bernardino this winter for your skiing, snowboarding, or just good all-fashioned snowball fights.

Avoid long lines and delays that will litter other airports this winter.

And as always, the parking in San Bernardino International Airport is only five bucks. That's right. $5. Go to San Francisco, Provo, Utah. Make your winter dreams come true at San Bernardino International Airport. Crickets for tickets all morning long. If you hear Jake's big crickets jump in during the show, it could happen during songs, commercials, even during our conversation.

Be sure to call us immediately and get yourself tickets to a variety of different things we will send you to throughout the entire show today.

If you're waiting for Disneyland, you'll have to get about 30 minutes away from getting a four pack of tickets to go to Disneyland. We'll make that happen for you. right now though we've got to figure out in this day of drinking where we've already all thrown down at least a shot of whiskey that we think. I'm pretty sure now after doing that one shot, because I haven't really had anything to eat this morning, that mine was real. I can already... I know mine was real. Mine was real, for sure. Did anyone get the non-alcoholic whiskey, or was that first round all real? It was all real! Okay, great. Wonderful. Thank you, Vanessa. So that non-acoholic literally just arrived, so I'm going to go good. Oh, we didn't even have non-acolic here yet? It wasn't route. It wasn't route. We're here for the spirit of, what is this, St. Patrick's Day. Oh, man. Like a true alcoholic. They don't even know what they're celebrating. All right. Well, anyway, the first round of shots apparently was all real whiskey. Is Johnny asleep already or is he still up? I think he's in the bathroom. I don't know. No, he's already out. Back off the wagon again. Unbelievable. Relapse. What about the fact that the non-alcoholic whiskey was more expensive than the real. B.S. That's what's happening across the, I mean, that's what we're learning yesterday. I know. It's crazy. There should be a $5 to $10 discount on every drink and every bottle that is non-alcoholic. It's like decaf coffee should just be free. Yeah, here, please drink it. I'll pay you to drink it. Oh, there's Johnny. Johnny, you okay, bud? You throw up? He's got a thumbs up.

Hold on. He's wandering down the hall. free. Yeah, here, please drink it. Pay you to drink it. Oh, there's Johnny. Johnny, you okay, bud? You throw up?

He's got a thumbs up.

He's wandering down the hall. All he's had in his stomach. You okay, Johnny? Yeah, the alcohol just went through me and made my stomach upset a little bit. Oh, you're such a pussy. It's only round one, and it was definitely a half show. bros yeah yeah you're yeah dude that, dude, that was... It does not agree with me. All right, great. Let's get into it now. We've got some drinking questions for robots. AI is apparently going to help solve your problems if you plan on drinking a lot today on this St. Patty's Day. It's time for a very special St. Patty's Day edition of Man versus Machine with an actual Irish AI helper. AI Irish. A. Irish. We just left again. Big questions. Oh, Johnny went down to all again. Back to the bathroom already. Now he's getting the N.A. one. Oh, okay. Oh, the non-alcoholic one. All right, first question. We'll give Jake a chance to defend humanity here,

see if humans stand the chance against the AI takeover. Jake, if you end up throwing up all over yourself today at one point, we asked AI what you should do. What is the first thing you should do if you end up accidentally throwing up all over yourself because of excessive day drinking? But before a robot gets a chance to answer, let's give you a human a chance to answer this question.

Accidentally?

Supposed it like on purpose?

Well, sometimes you, on purpose, would try to throw up in a trash can or a toilet, but if you are hammered and drunk and, you know, don't plan things accordingly, you could throw up on yourself. I think you've got to pull, a Burt Kreischer, ripped your shirt off, and then be like, woo it's down to really party now and just kind of amp it up and play like you were like that was your plan the whole time.

Oh, so you just go shirtless the rest of the night?

Oh, hell yeah, yeah.

Interesting.

So if you throw up on yourself, just take your shirt off and swing it around in the air like that was your big plan.

Yeah, yeah, and then I'm the machine now, whatever Bert says. All right, that's what Jake says as a human. If you throw up on yourself, just take off the clothing and swing it around in the air, that that was all part of your party plan. This is what the AI says. First move. Don't panic. Just contain it. If you're in public, grab anything. Napkins, towel, jacket to cover it up and limit the spread. If you don't have a change, use cold water and hand sanitizer to clean up as best you can. Good luck, Stinky. Hand sanitizer. That's an interesting. Well, because it's probably very accessible. Everyone's got hand sanitizer. I just use soap. That's just interesting. Just take a shirt off.

Well, I don't know. According to AI, that's what you're supposed to do. Jake's ideas, pick it up, throw it around in the air and just keep yelling. I didn't say pick it up and throw it around. I said take your shirt off. And this guy, the robot, the Irish robot, who doesn't really sound Irish. That is a British robot. most definitely not

Irish-ish, I guess

Irish. His name is

...