Hi, you're listening to Small Things Often from the Gottman Institute, where we talk you through

research-based tips to help improve your relationships in five minutes or less. Today's tip is about

showing your partner that your relationship is a priority. Have you ever heard the expression

actions speak louder than words? Well, it's true. Of course,

the words you say to your partner matter, but your actions can matter even more. Because when you

actually show your partner that the relationship is a priority, you build trust and loyalty

far beyond anything you could actually say with words.

Case in point.

Let's say you and your partner have been together for a while now.

And you've noticed the passion between you has started to fade.

Your life is filled with chores and bills and work.

And sometimes it feels like you're just going through the motions with them.

Sure, you may tell your partner that you love them, but do you show it, too?

That's the key to getting back on track. Here's some suggestions. Schedule a date night,

but keep the plans a surprise. It could be dinner out, or something as simple as walking by a river holding

hands and getting ice cream. The anticipation of what the night will hold will spark a new

sense of fun between the two of you. Or maybe surprise your partner by waking them up in the

morning with a fresh cup of coffee in bed, or cooking their favorite dinner, or if they really dislike

some chore they always do, like folding the laundry or mopping the kitchen floor. Surprise them

by doing it for them. Small acts of kindness go a long way to showing your partner that you care.

If you've stopped dreaming together, spend an evening building a dream board, where you both jot down your goals and dreams and anything you want to do together in the future, and then make a plan to get there.

You might be surprised to hear what your partner has been dreaming about on their own, and they might be surprised at yours too.

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