One of the most profound lessons I've ever learned about relationships is this,

that lust is not the same thing as love.

And that when we first are really into someone and we feel all that excitement,

we go into a completely delusional stage,

which is chemistry,

where we are infatuated, basically, with the other person.

We feel somewhat addicted to them.

We are so attracted to them.

We think they could do no wrong.

We're inspired to give to them, to love them. Everything is about how they make us feel. And we project this fantasy onto them. We project perfection onto them. And we think, oh, my God, I can't believe

I'm at this person. This person is my dream girl. This person is my dream guy. And we think that

all our childhood wounds are going to be erased by the presence of this person because it feels so good.

And then when a couple makes it past this stage where they get into the place where now they

finally are starting to see that this other person is a real

person. Or we wake up one day and we realize, oh, you know, yeah, I want to see this person,

but we don't feel as addicted to their presence. And then we start to question whether or not they are right for us.

And there are some people who will go from relationship to relationship because what they're

addicted to is the feeling of being addicted to someone and that obsessiveness that usually, I mean, for some people,

if you're lucky, it lasts a year, but a lot of people, it lasts three to six months.

And they think, oh, as soon as there's a problem or as soon as they feel like, oh, I can actually focus on my own life and I don't

need to be with this person. They must not be the one. And the thing is, there truly is no such

thing as the one. We decide. We choose who the one will be. And we're going to have to make that

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