So I am thinking about loyalty and more specifically how very deeply damaging, I think it is.

I think it is. You know what loyalty is?

You know what loyalty is?

Loyalty says, hey, because we have history, we need a present and a future.

No, I think depending on our history, that tells me whether we can have a present and or a future.

Sometimes the history is such that you need to fucking get out of there. You need to get out of that

relationship. And I don't care who it's with. Friends, family, doesn't matter. God, this is so, such a frustrating area for me. I am thinking of two specific

family members that I have gone no contact with. And it was very difficult for me to make the

decision to go no contact because of the societal messaging we have around loyalty.

With friends, yes, and really loyalty is harped on when it comes to family.

But you only have one mom or you only have one dad or, you know, oh, but she's your grandma

or you can't be selfish.

Yeah, maybe you do only have one mother.

Maybe she fucking failed you. Yeah, you do only have one dad. Maybe he sexually abused you.

I'm okay with being selfish. I would rather be selfish than hurting all the fucking time.

I would rather be selfish and protecting myself than harming myself by engaging in this relationship with this person.

I'm of the mindset that if a relationship isn't serving you, you should leave. You deserve you

owe it to yourself to leave.

Loyalty is keeping you stuck and small.

Oh my God, I so believe this.

So the two people that I don't have communication with, the two people that I went no contact with are my grandmother and my dad.

We'll get into it. My dad, emotionally neglectful. My father was so neglectful growing up.

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