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With The Perrys

Loving People When You Don't Want To With Toni Collier

With The Perrys

The Perrys

Religion & Spirituality, Society & Culture, Christianity, Personal Journals

4.97.5K Ratings

🗓️ 11 August 2025

⏱️ 65 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Each one of us is worthy of deep and intentional relationships. Just look at the life of Jesus and His close circles of community. God’s design is for us to be with people, but relationships are hard.   The Perrys are joined by Toni Collier to talk about her new book, Don’t Try This Alone: How to Build Deep Community When You Want to Hide from Your Pain. Toni and the Perrys talk about how past hurt and betrayal can cause us to avoid community, but God has always used other people to help us heal. We fulfill His law by loving His people, so it’s time we get good at trusting others with our pain and sitting with them in theirs.   Pre-order Toni’s new book, Don’t Try This Alone: tonijcollier.com/notalone Get 15% off Toni’s merch with code WTP shopetch.co/collections/toni-collier   Scripture references: Philippians 1:23-24 Philippians 2:3-4 Galatians 6:2 Job 2:9-13 Subscribe to the Perrys' newsletter: https://withtheperrys.myflodesk.com/zhfus4jx1s Join Preston's discipleship community for men: https://www.patreon.com/PrestonPerry/membership To support the work of the Perrys, donate via PayPal: https://paypal.me/withtheperrys Shop BOLD Apparel: boldapparel.shop Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

Hey Saints and Names. How are you?

0:07.7

What's up with y'all?

0:08.6

Hope you're blessed.

0:09.6

Hope you're happy.

0:11.2

If you're not happy, hope you are strengthened in the Lord.

0:16.1

I hope your tongue is clean.

0:18.0

I hope you brushed the tongue today.

0:19.3

I just think that is one of the most

0:22.0

strangest. Because you know that's what a boo-boo-boo smell collect that. The tongue is what a

0:29.3

boo-boo smell be like gathering. And so people be like, oh, let me get these teeth white,

0:34.1

but you got to get that tongue.

0:41.0

You don't agree?

0:43.8

I just think there's other things. Because I got a cousin.

0:44.9

He don't never get that tongue.

0:46.4

He knows who he is.

0:47.5

I just think there's other things we could open up with.

0:51.8

You know what I'm saying?

0:52.3

That's what I think about it in the morning, clean break. I want to open up with. You know what I'm saying? I'd be thinking about it. That's what I think about in the morning, clean break. Like, I want to open up with the fact, I can, I can admit that this is a parental flaw. You get what I'm saying? Last week I was talking to one of my, I ain't going to say one of my, probably my only mentor at this point because, you know, well, yeah, things be happening. She was like, hey, when do the girls start school? I said, honestly, I've been kind of procrastinate with that because it gives me anxiety. Did that snuck up on this? Last couple days ago, I said, let me go look at this calendar because I'm thinking maybe, you know, maybe I got a couple of weeks. I said, oh, they start school Thursday. I said, oh, I need to go get cackies. I got to go get their hair done. I got to go find some socks. I got to go see when the parent-teacher conferences. I got to go find some book bags. You know, they're going to want some new book bags. I got to go. You have to say, I was just like completely and immediately overwhelmed. Yeah, you were. You was on a, on the back deck like. Rocking and shaking. You would have thought, I'm like, girl, just to go. You would have thought that the world was about to return. You got like, our kids joined a coat. I was like, It immediately meant that there's 30 things I have to do immediately.

1:46.4

I get it.

1:47.0

I get it. But it just immediately meant that there's 30 things I have to do immediately.

2:03.3

Yeah, I get it.

2:04.2

And it meant, oh, you need to readjust your body because now 6 a.8, 6 a.m. 1st, 6 a.m.

...

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