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Wait a minute. Is this the right number?

It's the loser line.

Come on, just call me back.

If you haven't heard the loser line before, it works like this.

Let's say someone approaches you while you're out at the club

and uses this charming pickup line on you.

Hi there.

Excuse me, miss, but I think you should know I'm a big vegetable fan.

And you are the finest cucumber in the bunch.

Oh, wait, bananas come in bunches.

Not cucumbers.

No, they don't.

Darn it, I blew it.

Whatever you do, resist the urge to hold up your hand and give him your middle cucumber. Instead, tell him you'd like to tickle his pickle as long as his mom okays it first. Oh, no. That's when you give him the number to the loser line, so hopefully he can leave an awkward voicemail that we can play on the air.

Voicemails like this one.

Next message.

Richard, it's me, Patricia.

You had said that you live locally, so

I thought maybe that you would be

around.

But I do play pickleball on Thursday.

...