Hey girl, what's up with you?

Wait a minute, is this the right number?

It's, um, the loser line.

Come on, just call me back.

If you haven't heard the loser line before, it works like this.

Let's say someone approaches you while you're out at the club and uses this charming pickup line on you.

Hey, sweetums.

Do you know your boobs remind me of the moon landing? What? I mean, you look super fake, but I'm still tuning in. Oh, my God. Got him. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah, I believe it. Whatever you do, resist the urge to try and hook him up with your sister that you don't like. Okay. That's when you give him the number to the loser.

So much family stuff there, Jeff.

Hopefully he leaves an awkward voicemail.

We can play on the air.

Voicemails like this one.

Next message.

Hey, Tom.

It's there.

I'm calling because I feel super bad about something.

And I just, I wanted to tell you, like, I had so much fun the other night,

but I kind of lied about something.

And I'm really embarrassed.

And I, like, I really like you.

So that's like, I just, I want to confess because, you know the part about having to leave?

Because my uncle's car got hit by a hot tub that bounced off the truck? I know. It sounds stupid because it didn't happen. That was a total lie. I wanted to go to the other bar with you, but I kind of panicked. So that's why I was like, oh my God, just come up with like some stupid crazy lie. That's not the first time I've lied. I mean, I've lied about something else about, like, my cat getting stuck in a tub,

...