Hey girl, what's up with you?

Wait a minute, is this the right number?

It's the loser line.

Come on, just call me back.

If you haven't heard the loser line before, it works like this.

Let's say someone approaches you while you're out at the club and uses this charming pickup line on you.

There's a movie I want to see.

And my mommy says I can't go by myself.

Why?

You want to go in her place?

And then after the movie, we can make a movie with my mommy.

No.

What?

Whatever you do, resist the urge to tell him to stick his head in a bucket of popcorn, extra butter.

Oh, that's it?

That's all you're going to do. All was calling the cops, Jeff. Tell him that he is absolutely adorable, first of all. Like a hairless crack bunny. And that's when you leave him the number to the loser line. So hopefully he leaves an awkward voicemail that we can play on the air. Voicemails like this one. Next message.

Hey, Andrea, it's from outside the Verizon store.

You were telling me about some of your wiring issues inside your house, and I know I told you that I was an electrician, and I am, but just so you know, I don't really have any training, really.

I don't really have any insurance.

Technically, I don't have a license.

So, bottom line is 30 bucks.

And I'll come over there and I'll pull some wires and do some

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