Hey girl, what's up with you?

Wait a minute, is this the right number?

It's the loser line.

Come on, just call me back.

If you haven't heard the loser line before, it works like this.

Let's say someone approaches you when you're out at the club and uses this charming pickup line on you.

Do you play soccer?

Because you sure look like a keeper.

Oh, my gosh.

Whatever you do, don't introduce his eyeballs to your can of bear maze.

Instead, make a weirdly flirtatious comment about how you'd like to get him in a quarter

and then bend it like Becca.

That's probably not what you want to say back.

Yeah, maybe that's not right. But that's when you give him the number to the loser line. So hopefully he calls it, leaves an awkward voicemail. We can play on the air. Voicemails like this one. Next message. Hey, it's Branson. You know, the bean guy. Anyway, this might be a little odd to say, but it was actually so refreshing to meet a woman who truly appreciate beans the way I do.

You'd be surprised it's shockingly rare, you know?

Like, but when you saw me eating beans straight out of a can, you didn't judge me.

You know, you didn't flinch.

And I just, you just don't get that reaction from women a lot, you know?

Like, I don't understand why people are so scared to openly talk about how great beans are.

They're a miracle food.

They've got protein, fiber, vitamins, their mood booster.

You can literally put them on anything.

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