It's the radio segment that's helping you hydrate faster with something called the Dyson straw.

Just stick it in your beverage, let it vacuum, suck the liquid straight into your mouth at 20 times the normal speed.

And it only costs $700.

That doesn't feel safe.

Finish your entire big gulp in under three seconds.

Wow.

Thanks to laser stories.

The segment where we read,

weird news stories around the globe,

just like everyone else does,

except we've got a laser.

Those other super sippers just don't.

This first laser story is out of Pennsylvania.

48-year-old man named Eric Piersa came home on a Tuesday after drinking all night,

and his wife was not happy. Uh-oh.

Wait, not good that he came home the next day.

After a bunch of yelling and screaming, she had had enough and told him that their marriage was over.

I'm guessing this wasn't the first time he's done this.

Yeah, I mean, if you're out all night, it's never your first time.

Yeah, well, Eric didn't like that she said that.

Okay, he was surprised.

He told her, if that's how this ends, then I'm tearing down the house. What? Uh-oh. That's a reasonable response. You're always what to do that when you get fired. You got to break something, you know? He does know he owns half of it. Doesn't matter. That's exactly what he did. What? He went outside to a nearby lot where they were building a new house,

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