Hey girl, what's up with you?

Wait a minute, is this the right number?

It's, um, the loser line.

Come on, just call me back.

If you haven't heard the loser line before, it works like this,

let's say a guy approaches you while you're out at the club and uses this charming pickup line on you.

Oh boy.

Hey, gorgeous.

Oh.

Let me guess. Your nickname must be yogurt.

Because for some strange reason, I want to spoon you right now.

Why is that so sweet coming from him?

Whatever you do, do not mock him for already being in a committed relationship with his creatine.

Instead, tell him that maybe you two should meet by the squat rack later and show him you've got more moves than his battery-powered protein shaker.

And that's when you give him the digits to the loser line.

So hopefully he leaves you an awkward voicemail that we can play on the air.

Voicemails like this one.

Next message.

Hey, it's Gaffin.

So I went ahead and booked us a reservation for next Thursday night and Friday, you know, just in case Thursday goes really, really well.

Oh, also, I reserved a tandem kayak

for Saturday morning

...