Hey girl, what's up with you?

Wait a minute, is this the right number?

It's the loser line.

Come on, just call me back.

If you haven't heard the loser line before, it works like this,

let's say someone approaches you while you're out at the club

and uses this charming pickup line on you.

Just looking through my silverware drawers,

I got a lot of knives, a lot of forks, but I really could

use a little spoon. Don't tell him to go spork himself. Instead, tell him he's the kind of guy that

makes you want to eat stuff with your hands. And that's when you give the number to the loser

line. So hopefully he calls it and leaves an

awkward voicemail we can play over the air. Voicemails like this one.

Next message.

Oh, man. I never thought I meet anyone as fine as your ass at the airport.

Everybody dressed up like they go on the bed. But, girl, you fly as ever.

Damn, girl, you got my head spinning like that baggage claim when we met, girl.

To be all the way honest with you, I'm glad I was late to my sister's wedding.

If my plane was on time, I would have never ran into your fine little self.

God, for real, yo.

I wish somebody would have called in a bomb threat

so we could have been stuck in that airport together forever.

...