Loser Line (2/2/26)

Brooke and Jeffrey

iHeartPodcasts

Comedy, Society & Culture, Relationships

4.7 • 1.9K Ratings

🗓️ 2 February 2026

⏱️ 7 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Don't give that creep at the bar your number! Slip him the Loser Line number instead and we'll play his awful voicemail on the air!

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey girl, what's up with you?
0:02.4	Wait a minute, is this the right number?
0:04.2	It's the loser line.
0:06.5	Come on, just call me back.
0:08.5	If you haven't heard the loser line before, it works like this.
0:11.5	Let's say someone approaches you while you're out at the club and uses this charming pickup line on you.
0:17.0	Hey, cutie pie.
0:18.5	You got a sweet tooth?
0:20.9	Because my lips are like skittles, and tonight you're going to taste the rainbow.
0:26.4	Ew.
0:27.3	What do I feel like he doesn't even have any lips anymore?
0:30.7	Whatever you do, don't shove a Mars bar down his adult diaper.
0:34.7	Oh, my gosh.
0:35.4	Instead, slide him a snickers and tell him he's definitely going to be satisfied when you're
0:40.5	done with him.
0:41.2	Oh.
0:41.7	And that's when you give him the number to the loser line.
0:43.8	So hopefully he leaves an awkward voicemail that we can play over the air.
0:47.3	Voicemails like this one.
0:48.7	Next message.
0:50.3	Marcus?
0:51.2	It's clear.
	...

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