Hey girl, what's up with you?

Wait a minute, is this the right number?

It's, um, the loser line.

Come on, just call me back.

If you haven't heard the loser line before, it works like this.

Let's say someone approaches you while you're out at the club and uses this charming

pickup line on you.

Hey, sweetums.

Oh.

You know, your pretty smile would look real good on my nightstand.

I know, because that's where I keep mine.

Your chomper's there.

That's so funny.

Whatever you do, resist the urge to squeeze his compression socks, so there's not enough

blood flow to his legs.

Wow.

No, not fair. Instead, tell him that there's not enough blood flow to his legs. Wow. No, not fair!

Instead, tell him that there's a nice plastic cup of jello with both your names on it. I can't believe that guy is always at the clubs. Yeah. You know? He gets out there, and you're down to spoon it with him at 3 o'clock dinner tomorrow. And that's when you slide him in the number to the loser line.

So hopefully he calls and leaves an awkward voicemail that we can play on the air.

Voicemails like this one. tomorrow. And that's when you slide him in the number to the loser line. So hopefully he calls and leaves an awkward voicemail that we can play on the air.

Voicemails like this one.

Next message.

...