Hello, it's

It's the radio segment that's given your sweet happy child a dose of reality

with a fun new toy called My Little Parking Enforcement Officer Playset.

It comes with a mini ticket printer, frowny face stickers, and a tiny scooter that only moves one mile per hour, but still ruins everyone's day.

The power you just gave that child.

Your six-year-old will get cursed out in no time thanks to laser stories.

The segment where we read weird news stories around the globe, just like everyone else does, except we've got a laser.

Those other fire lane freeloaders just don't.

His first laser story is out of Georgia.

A 43-year-old man named Tuck Laramie recently came across an injured raccoon on the side of the road

and decided to give the animal a lift to a nature center.

Oh, that sounds nice.

He wrapped the raccoon in his coat and held it against his chest as he drove for over an hour. Was it alive? Was it conscious? It was alive, yes. Oh. That's how you can carry him? Just wrap on your... Hope it's asleep? Well, it wasn't doing well. He was trying to help. Okay, all right. It's unclear if Tuck was just a huge animal lover or if the raccoon just looks super cute.

Yeah. wasn't doing well. He was trying to help. Okay. All right. It's unclear if Tuck was just a huge animal lover or if the raccoon just looks super cute.

Yeah.

Probably.

But either way, it was wild and apparently did not want to be driven around.

Yeah, they don't understand cars.

Here we go.

Shortly after the ride began, the raccoon bit tuck on his face and his hands.

Okay, it's very much active.

I was hoping for a non-active raccoon in his coat.

...