Hey girl, what's up with you?

Wait a minute, is this the right number?

It's, um, the loser line.

Come on, just call me back.

If you haven't heard the loser line before, it works like this.

Let's say someone approaches you who is slightly undesirable while you're at the club

and uses this charming pickup line on you.

Hi there, Sugar Cube to the third power.

You know, if you were a triangle, you'd be a cute one.

Yeah, whatever you do, don't mock him in front of his imaginary friend that he's had since preschool.

Instead, tell him that you guys should spend more alone time together.

And then hopefully he leaves an awkward voicemail that we can play on the air.

Voicemails like this one.

Next message.

Hi, Danny.

This is B.

I was the guy at the coffee shop the other day.

I was the guy that gave you that dollar because, you know, you needed a dollar.

And I just, you gave me your phone number because you were going to pay me back.

And I just needed to know when that's going to happen.

Because, you know, like I've got a budget and that dollar isn't part of my budget.

I texted my Venmo information to you.

...