Hey girl, what's up with you?

Wait a minute, is this the right number?

It's, um, the loser line.

Come on, just call me back.

If you haven't heard the loser line before, it works like this.

Let's say someone approaches you while you're out of the club and uses this charming pickup line on you.

Hey, naughty girl.

I'm not really into Pokemon, but I'd love to get a Pikachu

That's so good you're classic

Gotcha

Yeah whatever you do resist the urge to kick him right in the pokey balls

Instead when it comes to transmitted diseases you're down to catch them all

That's when you slide Yeah that's when you slide in the number of the loser lines.

So hopefully he leaves an awkward voicemail that we can play on the air.

Voicemails like this one.

Next message.

Hey, it's Kira from last night.

I hope you remember me, Jesus.

I definitely wasn't expecting a random makeout to happen,

especially while my friend's arm was like stuck up in that claw machine,

but there's a nice distraction from all that stress.

So thank you for that, I guess.

...