Hey girl, what's up with you?

Wait a minute, is this the right number?

It's, um, the loser line.

Come on, just call me back.

If you haven't heard the loser line before, it works like this.

Let's say a guy approaches you while you out at the club and uses this charming pickup line on you.

Hey, miss, this is a wild guess, but is your name Jingle Bells?

What?

What?

I only say that because it looks like you go all the way.

Oh, come on.

After he drops that line, whatever you do,

don't let on that you've DMed the Joker four times in the last three days.

Instead, tell that caped creeper that if he plays his cards right, maybe he could take a peek

at your hall of justice.

That's when you give him the number to the loser line.

So hopefully he leaves an awkward voicemail.

We can play on the air.

Voicemails like this one.

Next message.

I know I told you that maybe I'd want to go out tonight, but, you know, honestly, I'm just, I'm just not feeling it.

I mean, I'm on my couch. I'm in cozy clothes. I'm watching TV right now. Am I getting old?

...