Hey girl, what's up with you?

Wait a minute, is this the right number?

It's the loser line.

Come on, just call me back.

If you haven't heard the loser line before, it works like this.

Let's say someone approaches you while you're out at the club and uses this charming pickup line on you.

Oh, fiddlesticks.

I'd really like to take you to the movies, but they don't let you bring your own snacks in.

Oh.

Because you're a snack.

I was like, no, you're like...

I take stuff to the movies all the time.

Well, whatever you do, don't fill up his pockets with a liquid butter from the concession stand. Oh, he's hitting out. Instead, tell him that you want to show him a double feature. Something that he will never forget. And that's when you give him the number to the loser line. So hopefully he calls us and leaves an awkward voicemail that we can play on the air.

Voicemails like this one.

Next message.

Here's the thing.

My dad's been super single for the last, like, nine years.

He really has, like, no confidence to do anything, especially, you know, romantic type stuff.

But, you know, he's my dad.

He's just an awesome guy.

And I mean, if I was a chick, I definitely date him.

So, uh, yeah.

...